Ask and You Shall Receive

Written on July 23, 2008. Written by The Rev.

That was some showdown today ya? For someone who supposedly can’t climb Cancellara did a pretty good job of shelling most of the peloton. It was painful to watch, I can’t imagine what it would be like to follow that monster. Then to have Andy Schleck covering all the attacks after Sastre went away, it was a CSC clinic out there today.

I think Cadel is going to lose. He put 1:20 on Sastre in the first TT and now he is 1:34 behind. Sastre is not terrible against the clock. I think he will ride the TT of his life and hold off Cadel. Nice try Cadel but I think you rode too defensive and are a little over confident in your TT. I guess we will see.

I Cadels defense he kinda had to just follow wheels since he had zero team mates on any of the final climbs. If he wins this tour he will be lucky. Lotto has to shell out some $$$ and get him some help in the mountains. Horner did a much better job last year than Popovich has done for Cadel this year. They should have kept Horner around for another year. Lotto has failed Cadel and failed McEwen for that matter.

Vande Velde, damn that crash yesterday.

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Maybe Tomorrow

Written on July 22, 2008. Written by The Rev.

I have to prface this by saying I have not watched any of todays stage so i may be talking out of my ass more than usual.

Didn’t get the flurry of attacks that I was hoping for today. Sounds like Schelck #2 again Big Ringed the final climb and did manage to put the hurt on Menchov and Vande Velde. Tugh luck for the Burrito boys today with Vande Velde crashing, I wouldn’t count him out yet though.

I guess it makes sense that Riis didn’t have the lads go berzerk today with another big day tomorrow. I really hope that he has Sastre and Schleck #2 start some fireworks tomorrow. It is not that I don’t like Cadel I just want to see him throw down for once. Even Big Mig would attack and go for stage wins. Remember the flat stage into Liege when Bruyneel sat on his wheel for 60k and sprinted at the line? Anyway make a race of it Cadel.

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Burrito Power

Written on July 21, 2008. Written by The Rev.

Yesterday I got to see some actual Tour de France coverage on the TV. Hot damn that was some stage yesterday. How many matches di Andy Schleck burn on that climb? CSC certainly has the numbers. Now they have the pressure of defending Yellow.

Poor Cadel is going to learn to late that you can’t wear yellow in Paris by following. Good God man just attack for a change! At least ry to win the damn thing. I guess no one ever told Cadel that to win you have to risk losing. I think he really dodged a bullet when Menchov crashed and they waited for him(which was a classy move). Otherwise I think he would have got popped sooner and lost a lot more time than he did. I also think he is banking too much on the final TT as he did not take much time out of Menchov or Vandevelde in the first one.

I was so hoping Pate could pull of the W. Garmin/Chipotle has certainly pushed The Big Ring proving they deserve to be at the big show. Podiums by Frishkorn, Millar and now Pate. Vandevelde continues to impress and has a real shot at winning the whole damn thing. I am off for Le Burrito.

Spit on The Cobra

Written on July 17, 2008. Written by The Rev.

Riccardo Ricco made no secret that he worshipped Marco Pantani. He made jaw dropping attacks on the biggest mountains, made up his own nickname, ran his mouth non-stop, and now has been lead from a Grand Tour by the five-O. His attention to detail is admirable. At this point I hope he sees it through with a final cocaine and hooker filled orgy. I hope his team mates are having a blanket party for him right now.

Because you have doped,
cursed are you among all animals and among the peleton;
upon your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat
all the days of your life.

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Dave Zabriskie Part 1

Written on July 15, 2008. Written by The Rev.

Last year the best part of A Tour de France was the Zabriskie videos on Velonews. Well Velonews doesn’t have him this year but we do! Dave Zabriskie was kind enough to take time from his Olympic preparation to answer a few qustions for the congregation about riding, racing and stage coach robbin’.

COTBR: Have you accepted The Big Ring as your personal savior?

DZ: Uh sure man.

COTBR: Is it true you’ve used your unique time trialling abilities to occasionally rob stagecoaches or is that just a viscous rumor started by some fruitcake who thinks you look like the infamous “Black Bart”?

DZ: It’s just a viscous rumor.

COTBR: Congrats on making the Olympic Team. Do you think Chipotle will roll out a General Tso’s burrito in honor?

DZ: I doubt it but you never know.

COTBR: Does DZ Nuts work for diaper rash as well?

DZ: I haven’t tried it but someone did and said it worked.

COTBR: The safe route database at Yield to Life is a great idea. How are you compiling that? Are you taking submissions from other riders?

DZ: We are trying to talk to bicycle coalitions from each state to help gather the information. We welcome submissions from riders. Please email your questions and comments to yield2life@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you.

COTBR: Any plans to race ‘cross?

DZ: Not at the moment but someday I think I will.

COTBR: I heard a rumor that your Olympic training involves eating weeds and jumping in raging ice cold rivers. Whats up with that?

DZ: Yes I’m sure my neighbors thought my yard was just full of weeds but the other day my massage therapist pointed out that some of them are edible so now I sit out there and eat them while the others are spraying weed killer on perfectly good food. The river thing— was riding and ran into Burke and he said wanted to go up Millcreek canyon and soak in the river, I said sure. The water is snow runoff so it’s ice cold and I screamed like a little girl for the first couple of minutes but after that we sat there for a good 20 minutes and the next day the legs felt great so now I try to hop in there every now and then. It’s an interesting spot for me to go and try to heal because it’s the exact spot where I was hit by a car in 2003.

COTBR: What is on your iPod these days?

DZ: Hannah Montana.

COTBR: Which Grand Tour has the best schwag?

DZ: I’d say the vuelta. You get a pretty cool t-shirt.

COTBR: Do you think leisure suits will make a comback?

DZ: I’m not sure what those are. I’d say yes though.

COTBR: Jimi or Stevie Ray?

DZ: Oh man that’s a hard one. I’d say Jimi for the mood I’m in now.

COTBR: What would you be doing if you were not a pro cyclist?

DZ: I would like to be a professional gamer or something to do with super heros.

Tune in next week for part II

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Pro Tour Buh Bye

Written on July 15, 2008. Written by The Rev.

Somewhere in Europe a fat lady is singing. 17 out of 18 Pro Tour teams have taken their collective balls and gone home. The Pro Tour idea had potemtial and may have worked if the UCI would have been open to actually listening to the concerns of the teams and sponsors but, the UCI seemed more intent on playing the bully and going forward with their ill conceived vision. Good riddance.

Taking a page from the former Iraqi Information Ministers play book, Chief UCI chowderhead Pat McQuaid told Reuters that teams could face sanctions from the UCI “We’ll deal with that according to the regulations,” said McQuaid “Thay face exclusion from the international federation. It is something we are going to discuss.”

Living in oblivion.

Downieville ‘08

Written on July 14, 2008. Written by The Rev.

Greetings Brothers and Sisters. For better or for worse I am back in the world of cell phone reception and interweb connection.

Not many things these days live up to they hype. I have heard the stories, read the exploits of Mark Weir and engaged in some lively discussions online with those who have lived it. Still, I had my doubts. I shouldn’t have. Back in the day the NORBA Series was a big traveling circus. The courses were epic, everyone raced XC and DH on the same bike, and there was an atmoshpere of brotherhood that really had to be experienced. Downieville is trying to recreate that. I would say they have succeded in a big way. Ross Schnell and Rachel Lloyd got the wins in the XC and deserve every bit of respect that comes with that title.

If you like doing lots of laps at a ski resort then the Downieville course is not for you. The XC is about as good a test of MTB skill as you are likely to come across. Long climbs? check. Fast fire roads? check. Ripping downhill? check. You get the idea. In the 2:29 it took me I can honestly say I don’t remember ever being so blown after such a short race. Total devastation.

As good as the race was the post race was even better. A free plate of lasagna was waitng for every racer, free pint of New Belgium beer (w/ glass!) and a cool river to soak in. The big air jump into the river was a total blast to watch. (pics here). We left so we could ride in Tahoe the next day so we missed the evening festivities.

Downieville is basically the exact opposite of what the NMBS series has become. The entire event is about participation and appreciating the racers rather then the exploitation and gouging of the NMBS.

Oh yeah, there is a race going on over in France. More on that tomorrow.

Smoke ‘em

Written on July 10, 2008. Written by The Rev.

The Cobra struck in the mountains today and promptly congratulated himself. Confidence is not something Brother Ricco lack, then again if I was winning Tour stages when I was 23 I would be pretty full of myself too I guess. Brother Voeckler had another nice go off the front, guess he is liking the way he looks in polka dots. Also another good showing by the Garmin/Chipotle men, I really thought Brother Vandevelde was gonna get the V. The way those guys are riding it is only a matter of time before a “Burrito Boy” is on the top of the podium. My heart goes out to Brother Schumacher. That is an awful way to lose Yellow. Keep fighting Brother!

As I write this I am sitting in an Econo Lodge in Reno on my way to Downieville. With the temperature, smoke and acrid smell from the massive wildfires in California I keep expecting to see the devil himself at any moment. The street address of our home for the night? 666 N. Wells Ave. Beelzebub you rascal!

Dancing On The Pedals

Written on July 9, 2008. Written by The Rev.

The move from pro ballromm dancer to Grand Tour stage winner is pretty improbable but, that is exactly what Mark Canendish has done. Maybe my own dreams of going from cube farm jockey to F1 driver/ninja are not as crazy as my finace tells me.

The Scalpel got some new fat skins today for Downieville (thanks F-Train). Probably wont be giving Mark Weir much to worry about but I am gonna go fast. I am going to use the “Better Off Dead” strategy, “go really fast, if something gets in your way, turn”. Looking forward to jumping in the river and cracking a nice cold one at the finish.

Whoa, Didn’t See That Coming!

Written on July 8, 2008. Written by The Rev.

You know as much as I want to hate A Tour and write it off the racing is just too damn good. If you had asked yesterday who would win the TT today I would have said Cancellara without even blinking. Schumacher? Damn, would not have guessed that in a million years. Also looks like Evans is going to do his best to make a liar out of me yet as he took a big chunk out of Valverde today. How about Chipotle/Garmin with 2 podiums in 2 days. I am gonna go program the GPS and ride over to Chipotle for “Le Burrito” tonight.

What can I say? Viva la France! I may have to take El Hammermeisters advice and get a dish when I get back from Downieville. Speaking of Downieville, anyone have tire recomendations? I have been running some 1.9 Kenda Karmas but, I think a fatter one would be better. Just guessing though since I have never done the race. Any insight would be appreciated.

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